Disappointment in medical, but faith in nature

Last night (the 21st i guess) wifey started having really bad contractions and other very real signs of labor at 6pm.  Our plan was to labor at home (lol like I have to do much other than be there and be supportive) then go to the hospital for the last bit.  I mean, who wants to hang out in a BORING hospital room and be in pain when you can be at home, snack some, watch your own movies, etc.  Well the laboring gets really intense and we send the girls to go hang out with our AWESOME neighbor Megan and we head to the hospital.  We get there and wifey gets hooked up to the machines and it verfies that she is having very intense, regular contractions.  We let the nurse and the in house OB/GYN know that her cervex is different than others and it feels like they completely ignore us and say that she has made negative progress.  This is at about 10am.  We hang out in the hospital doing everything we can think of to move labor along and by 4pm wifey's OB/GYN becomes available to check her and it turns out she has made progress...just not very much.  Turns out that it isn't the day for our new arrival yet so we head home and wifey feels completely crestfallen.  I try to remind her that nature doesn't work on a schedule like the medical profession would like it to.  When baby is ready to hop out I truly believe it will happen and it will happen just the way it is supposed to. 
We get so caught up in trying to control nature we forget sometimes that nature knows best.  We prune and shape hedges, we mow our lawns so that patterns appear, we fertalize, steralize, and immunize our crops so they can be bigger, tastier, and bug free, but then we have to replant or spend just as much to up keep them.  If we left well enough alone, bugs would pollenate and spread seeds, hedges could grow and flourish into amazing displays, and our lawns wouldn't more maintenance than our homes.  I think that nature has been doing a pretty good job of taking care of it's own for millions of years.  I trust that when baby and mom are both ready, she will come into this world happy and healthy.

The adventure begins!

November 1 marked the first day of a brand new experience for everyone in my household.  We started Gabby homeschooling.  We really felt that the public school system was failing to to give her the education we feel she deserved.  They were teaching yes, but only to what the standardized tests said were important.  Creativity was squashed, accusations were thrown (by the teacher at students) instead of playground balls, and my 6 year old had homework EVERY night.  And on top of that she had a weekly spelling test to study for.  I didn't have that much homework as a college student most semesters.  So rather than see her despise learning at the ripe old age of 7, we decided to take her out of an instution and teacher her in a way that she can enjoy and look forward to.

 

That being said, our first day of schooling got off to a rather rocky start.  First Aj is fighting off a nasty cough that she cl=aims debilitates her.  Next off, we finally got all the kids dressed and loaded up to leave and I look at the car and it seems a little lopsided.  Oh yes, a flat on passenger side.  So after much jacking, prying, swearing get teh flat off but can't get teh spare from under the car to release.  Our awesome neighbor let me borrow her car and I drove out, got the tire and got it back on. While I got all that done, my awesome wife got all of gabby's school instruction done for the day!  She worked on her reading, writing, science, and later in the day she painted some clay figures we made a couple days ago for her art.  We also taught her about money and how people pay for stuff with bank cards and she helped me cook dinner.  There is SO much to learn by living that people either don't notice or just expect you to know that school skips over it's amazing.

 

Our distant cousins have twins that were in gabby's grade and they were apalled that we would even think of homeschooling.  I told a good friend about it and she equated it to when she switched over to a mostly vegan diet.  It makes people uncomfortable when you reject the norm because you don't feel that it is good enough for you.  So instead of listening to our reasons why we are pulling Gabby out, our cousin just told us what a mistake we are making and how could we think to ruin our daughter's life.

 

So in closing, I hope I inspire or challenge you to take a look at your life.  Is there some aspect that the norm isn't good enough for you but you haven't changed because it is outside the social acceptable behavior?  I won't lie that it will be easy, but I can say with almost complete certainty that there is someone like you somewhere that you can talk to and find support and ideas with.

value

Value.  Many people take that word differently.  Some put a dollar sign on it.  Some attach value to other, incalculable things.  I try to make everything I do or participate in be of value or benefit something or someone in someway.  It's how I measure whether something is worthwhile doing.  There are words built into our everyday language that accomdate that mindset too.  Worthwile, waste of time, opportunity cost.  I've been taking a pretty hard look at some of my hobbies and activities recently and trying to decide if they are adding value to my life or diminishing it.  To give an example, I am one of those people that really enjoy working out.  That obviously adds value to my life as it makes me healthier and adds years to my life.  Some other things are harder to justify.  Like watching TV.  A documentary is obviously enriching, but a drama show?  I would argue that time spent relaxing is important in moderation too.  Also there are shows that I enjoy watching with my wife and that social time is very important as we don't get a lot of one on one time. 

 

Something else came to mind as I was making a list of activities that add value to my day is a list of friends I have and what I value about them and how I would like to be more like different aspects of them.  Some I value for their optimism, energy, perseverance, peacefulness, and/or, inspiration to be fit.  I wonder what others value about me.  I hope that some look to me as a valuable pat of their life as I look to others.

Be the Change

"Be the change you want to see in the world" is a quote from the most peaceful person that has lived in my lifetime that I'm aware of, Ghandi.  It's a very hard directive to follow sometimes.  I have no problem being kind to others or showing generosity as I wish more people in the world would do, but lately work has been rather, as a friend once put it, soulcrushing.  I know everyone has days where it is hard to get out of bed and get motivated to go to work, but the flavor of disgust I've experienced lately has been toxic.  I was assigned to walk around on a foot patrol and in doing so I crossed another employee who I've noticed NEVER smiles and NEVER has a kind word for anyone but their close friends.  I thought to myself, I do not want to end up like that and how sad that they are so unhappy.  I said good morning and have a good day and all I got was a blank stare in return, but I tried to do something to show them that a) not everyone in my department is an un-charismatic slob, and b) life isn't as bad as it can seem and people do notice you. 

 

My wife once told me that she read somewhere that you should surround yourself with people you want to be like or aspire to become.  It's a subliminal form of self improvement.  It makes sense though.  If you are trying to drink less, don't hang out with your bar hopping buddy, hang out with your friend that has been dry for 3 years.  If you are trying to get finances back on track, avoid the friend that is swimming in a sea of consumer debt and chat up your friend that just paid off their student loans.  I have a good friend that is always smiling and full of energy.  That is the change I want to be.  I make excuses often that I'm tired due to my shift and I don't get enough sleep, but perhaps I can do the Mind over Matter thing and just become happier.  I don't have more than average to be upset about.  Everyone has bills, most people don't really enjoy their jobs (blessed are those that found their dream career!!), and it seems all have interpersonal conflicts from time to time.

 

So no longer will I be sad, sleepy Klint, but rather serene, content and happy. (I'm not one for the cheerleader over the top crazy happy...think that's the quickest way to get a drug test at work if I ever saw one).

 

~Peace

BOOM! instant karma

There is not a whole lot more satisfying than seeing justice dealt.  I say justice because should be more appealing than revenge because justice is what someone deserves but revenge can be bitter and spiteful.  Karma is the universe's built in judge and jury.  When you do ill to someone else it has a way of coming back to you.  It may not even be in this lifetime (suspense is killer!) but it will come back to bite you in the butt.  Take the case of the 3 year old birthday dinner I just took my little princess on.  She love Applebee's. I don't know why, but she does.  She orders macaroni and cheese and even on the menu it states that it is the same exact Kraft macaroni and cheese I get at the store for $0.88 but they feel ok charging $4 for it.  Whatever, it's her birthday, get whatever you want kiddo!  Where I have the issue is the service we received.  Part of what is built into the price of the food is the atmosphere, cost of food, and wages of the staff.  So as a person who has been on both sides of the restaurant experience (server, cook, dishwasher, done it all) I understand how it works, so when Jimbob (name's changed to protect the accused) came up to our table and asked "What do you want?" I was tempted to say "a new waiter."  He didn't care or say anything when we said we were celebrating my daughter's 3rd birthday, didn't bring out a dessert, or even mark off anything on the check.  In short he didn't even acknowledge my child on her special dinner.  Turns out that being a server is one of those opportunities for karma to be applied instantly.  If you do awesome and make the customer feel good, tips are generally good.  If you suck at life and make people feel like they didn't have a good time, tips will go down the drain.  There are exceptions to the rule, but you get the general idea. 

I think you can guess how awesome our waiter did when he picked up the check  :)

Mindful schooling

Schooling and education should be synonyms right?  I always thought so but after having a child in the public school system I am beginning to wonder.  When I was growing up the kids that were home schooled in my area (I mean no offense if you were) were weird.  I think a big part of it was the socialization differences but they talked funny and dressed even weirder.  But before I go on exploring new interest in home schooling let me explain the events that lead me there.

So begins the journey towards the decision of whether to keep her in school and see if she "adjusts" to the new structure to bring her home and school her at home.

doppelgangers

I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother (a current favorite of mine) and they said something that really made me think and appreciate my life.  To give a little background they circle of friends are convinced that each of them have a doppelganger out there and they had found four of the five.  They spent a good part of the episode talking about doppelgangers and Ted said something to the effect that we are all our own doppelganger.  Would you recognized yourself from 5 years ago? 10 years?  To think how far I've come in just 6 short years amazes me sometimes.  Had a child (two with one more on the way) bought and sold a few cars, bought a house, bought my first thoroughbred dog only to find out she was crazy and destructive and had to be re-homed to a place with more space.  Seems amazing to me, and also my 10 year high school reunion was this past summer (couldn't attend) but I can't even imagine all the changes that have occured in that time span.  I think everyone wrote letters to future selves either in school or at one time or another about what we are doing or what we hope we are doing in some prescribed number of years.  I know I didn't see myself whre I am now back then, but I am glad I got here.