Enemies

Have you ever had a day where nothing goes as planned?  Or perhaps you feel like the gears of the world are turning against you.  It's days like those that people tell you to look on the brighter side, and to persevere and it will get better soon.  These are good and all, but what if you can't find the brighter side, or the weight of your sorrows seem impossible to bear?  I feel that way from time to time and today I sat and thought about the source of my woes and came to a conclusion. 

I have an enemy working against me. 

This is not to be trifled with or underestimated.  He is sneaky, underhanded and ruthless.  He undermines my dreams, mars my health, makes me stumble when I finally feel like I find my stride and maligns the machine that is my daily life.  Who is this evil doer?  Who could be so heartless and callous?  It's me.  There are days where I do things I don't even know why I do it, but then later on the repercussions destroy something I hold dear.  I'm sure we've all said things in anger we regret, but it seems I make it a habit like a druggie visiting his dealer.

So why do I do it?  Old habit die hard?  Perhaps there's something to be said about the way I was raised.  Maybe I'm one of those people who just can't get along with others.  I don't know.  All I know is I want to defeat this underminer, this nemesis I have.  I want to be happy and fulfill my dreams.

Good news

Good news
Well, it seems nature and greater powers have decided that our little family should expand some. Wifey had been feeling nauseous and really worn down and she kiddingly said she was pregnant but decided to go
get a home test kit anyway. Well after a whole 30 seconds it came back positive. So as weird as it sounds, send pink thoughts our way, I'm hopin for another girl.
Peace

~Klint

Less is more

Less is more
This week we sold our "extra" car. It's extra in that it was paid off,
but a smaller and kinda baseline model so it didn't get driven much.
We needed the influx of money and we definitly needed the space so the
decision to sell was pretty easy. It's really nice not having to worry
about insuring it or oil changes or any other of a mountain of
maintenance concerns that go with owning a car. Sometimes it seems the
American dream is to amass this huge collection of stuff, but I've
come to realize that the more stuff you have the more you have to take
care of or store or pay for. Hopefully as I go through life I can pare
down on other things as well and have a less cluttered less expensive
life.

Peace

~Klint

Yogamazing!

I have recently become a firm believer in the fitness and healing benefits of yoga but haven't really found a great way to practice it.  I have a few video routines, but once you do them a couple times it gets kinda old. I was looking for a new podcast to watch and came across the yogamazing podcast on iTunes. I dowoaded the ones for cyclists and runners and really liked how he took into consideration the different needs of the practitioners. I also recommend the one for allergy since allergen season is fast approaching. Check out his website at www.yogamazing.com and have a peaceful day!

~Klint

Reading people

Reading people
As some might know, I work third shift and that has a tendency of tiring a person out continually. Also as a police officer it is not my place to be a giddy, bubbly personality. I do however try to be a pleasant and even tempered person the majority of the time. So when a smart mouthed employee remarked "don't be so happy to be here" when I was going out of my way to perform a quick scan so that she wouldn't be tied up in the re-entry process I was at first a little offended. Then I realized that most people remark that I look sad or sleepy most of the time. This is really not the case as since I've been working out more I've been able to rest deeper and I've just felt better. So please remember when making impressions and comments (no one likes to hear "you look like crap today") that it really is impossible to judge a book by it's cover.

~Klint

Loss

To Buddhists everything is temporary, nothing is permanent.  This is
something I've been meditating on very diligently for the past month.
My grandmother very suddenly got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and
since her diagnosis she has been very weak and seems defeated. I don't
honestly know how much of it is the cancer or how much is the pain
medication she is on, but since she fell that day her attitude also
fell drastically. A logical part of me always knew she wouldn't live
forever, but she was so lively and vital that I am not prepared to
lose her yet.  Meditating that this is completely natural, normal, and
the way things are supposed to happen makes it a little better.
There are really two things that make this much more difficult to
navigate. The first and far more enraging is the way my mother is
behaving. She became very emotional and attached to my grandpa's
sister who she hardly knew but has not called or visited her own
mother. It's really hard for me to understand how she can harbor that
much hatred. The second is how a family member is just found out I was
related to can use this tragedy to try to make herself feel better or
me feel worse. I got introduced to her and she immediately started
talking about grandma. I said she was feeling better that she was out
of the hospital to which she retorted that "she isn't going to make
it". I don't understand what is meant by making it, NO ONE lives
forever and she certainly didn't look much better off than grandma but
she felt necessary to add in that little jab.
There have been many hours I've spent thinking on how nothing in life
is permanent and you must enjoy each moment that you are in for you
cannot posses or control the future or past. I will make the most of
each moment I still have with grandma and treasure the memories I have
made with her.


~Klint

Spring....almost

I write this cuddled in my coat next to a sad little space heater who thought his working days to be over for the season. You see it's raining and only 35 degrees out and since I'm forced to be out in it I am reminded every year that winter in Cleveland isn't over until after the Easter bunny has visited with his bright pastel colors.  I have enjoyed very much the reprieve we have gotten from winter's bite the last week or so but do believe winter has one last kick for us.
So dear readers, what about warmer weather do you most look forward to?