Have you ever had a day where nothing goes as planned? Or perhaps you feel like the gears of the world are turning against you. It's days like those that people tell you to look on the brighter side, and to persevere and it will get better soon. These are good and all, but what if you can't find the brighter side, or the weight of your sorrows seem impossible to bear? I feel that way from time to time and today I sat and thought about the source of my woes and came to a conclusion.
I have an enemy working against me.
This is not to be trifled with or underestimated. He is sneaky, underhanded and ruthless. He undermines my dreams, mars my health, makes me stumble when I finally feel like I find my stride and maligns the machine that is my daily life. Who is this evil doer? Who could be so heartless and callous? It's me. There are days where I do things I don't even know why I do it, but then later on the repercussions destroy something I hold dear. I'm sure we've all said things in anger we regret, but it seems I make it a habit like a druggie visiting his dealer.
So why do I do it? Old habit die hard? Perhaps there's something to be said about the way I was raised. Maybe I'm one of those people who just can't get along with others. I don't know. All I know is I want to defeat this underminer, this nemesis I have. I want to be happy and fulfill my dreams.