weekly feature upcoming!

I am looking over my 30/30 list and saw that I wanted to try a wekly blog feature.  I've been mulling it over in my head and to what I can do and then while I was cruising my facebook feed a friend's picutre came by.  She is doing a 365 project where she takes (amazing) picutres everyday.  I don't know that I have the time to take a picture everyday, but surely I can manage one a week.  I plan to start it with the new year so be on the lookout!

Disappointment in medical, but faith in nature

Last night (the 21st i guess) wifey started having really bad contractions and other very real signs of labor at 6pm.  Our plan was to labor at home (lol like I have to do much other than be there and be supportive) then go to the hospital for the last bit.  I mean, who wants to hang out in a BORING hospital room and be in pain when you can be at home, snack some, watch your own movies, etc.  Well the laboring gets really intense and we send the girls to go hang out with our AWESOME neighbor Megan and we head to the hospital.  We get there and wifey gets hooked up to the machines and it verfies that she is having very intense, regular contractions.  We let the nurse and the in house OB/GYN know that her cervex is different than others and it feels like they completely ignore us and say that she has made negative progress.  This is at about 10am.  We hang out in the hospital doing everything we can think of to move labor along and by 4pm wifey's OB/GYN becomes available to check her and it turns out she has made progress...just not very much.  Turns out that it isn't the day for our new arrival yet so we head home and wifey feels completely crestfallen.  I try to remind her that nature doesn't work on a schedule like the medical profession would like it to.  When baby is ready to hop out I truly believe it will happen and it will happen just the way it is supposed to. 
We get so caught up in trying to control nature we forget sometimes that nature knows best.  We prune and shape hedges, we mow our lawns so that patterns appear, we fertalize, steralize, and immunize our crops so they can be bigger, tastier, and bug free, but then we have to replant or spend just as much to up keep them.  If we left well enough alone, bugs would pollenate and spread seeds, hedges could grow and flourish into amazing displays, and our lawns wouldn't more maintenance than our homes.  I think that nature has been doing a pretty good job of taking care of it's own for millions of years.  I trust that when baby and mom are both ready, she will come into this world happy and healthy.

The adventure begins!

November 1 marked the first day of a brand new experience for everyone in my household.  We started Gabby homeschooling.  We really felt that the public school system was failing to to give her the education we feel she deserved.  They were teaching yes, but only to what the standardized tests said were important.  Creativity was squashed, accusations were thrown (by the teacher at students) instead of playground balls, and my 6 year old had homework EVERY night.  And on top of that she had a weekly spelling test to study for.  I didn't have that much homework as a college student most semesters.  So rather than see her despise learning at the ripe old age of 7, we decided to take her out of an instution and teacher her in a way that she can enjoy and look forward to.

 

That being said, our first day of schooling got off to a rather rocky start.  First Aj is fighting off a nasty cough that she cl=aims debilitates her.  Next off, we finally got all the kids dressed and loaded up to leave and I look at the car and it seems a little lopsided.  Oh yes, a flat on passenger side.  So after much jacking, prying, swearing get teh flat off but can't get teh spare from under the car to release.  Our awesome neighbor let me borrow her car and I drove out, got the tire and got it back on. While I got all that done, my awesome wife got all of gabby's school instruction done for the day!  She worked on her reading, writing, science, and later in the day she painted some clay figures we made a couple days ago for her art.  We also taught her about money and how people pay for stuff with bank cards and she helped me cook dinner.  There is SO much to learn by living that people either don't notice or just expect you to know that school skips over it's amazing.

 

Our distant cousins have twins that were in gabby's grade and they were apalled that we would even think of homeschooling.  I told a good friend about it and she equated it to when she switched over to a mostly vegan diet.  It makes people uncomfortable when you reject the norm because you don't feel that it is good enough for you.  So instead of listening to our reasons why we are pulling Gabby out, our cousin just told us what a mistake we are making and how could we think to ruin our daughter's life.

 

So in closing, I hope I inspire or challenge you to take a look at your life.  Is there some aspect that the norm isn't good enough for you but you haven't changed because it is outside the social acceptable behavior?  I won't lie that it will be easy, but I can say with almost complete certainty that there is someone like you somewhere that you can talk to and find support and ideas with.

value

Value.  Many people take that word differently.  Some put a dollar sign on it.  Some attach value to other, incalculable things.  I try to make everything I do or participate in be of value or benefit something or someone in someway.  It's how I measure whether something is worthwhile doing.  There are words built into our everyday language that accomdate that mindset too.  Worthwile, waste of time, opportunity cost.  I've been taking a pretty hard look at some of my hobbies and activities recently and trying to decide if they are adding value to my life or diminishing it.  To give an example, I am one of those people that really enjoy working out.  That obviously adds value to my life as it makes me healthier and adds years to my life.  Some other things are harder to justify.  Like watching TV.  A documentary is obviously enriching, but a drama show?  I would argue that time spent relaxing is important in moderation too.  Also there are shows that I enjoy watching with my wife and that social time is very important as we don't get a lot of one on one time. 

 

Something else came to mind as I was making a list of activities that add value to my day is a list of friends I have and what I value about them and how I would like to be more like different aspects of them.  Some I value for their optimism, energy, perseverance, peacefulness, and/or, inspiration to be fit.  I wonder what others value about me.  I hope that some look to me as a valuable pat of their life as I look to others.

Be the Change

"Be the change you want to see in the world" is a quote from the most peaceful person that has lived in my lifetime that I'm aware of, Ghandi.  It's a very hard directive to follow sometimes.  I have no problem being kind to others or showing generosity as I wish more people in the world would do, but lately work has been rather, as a friend once put it, soulcrushing.  I know everyone has days where it is hard to get out of bed and get motivated to go to work, but the flavor of disgust I've experienced lately has been toxic.  I was assigned to walk around on a foot patrol and in doing so I crossed another employee who I've noticed NEVER smiles and NEVER has a kind word for anyone but their close friends.  I thought to myself, I do not want to end up like that and how sad that they are so unhappy.  I said good morning and have a good day and all I got was a blank stare in return, but I tried to do something to show them that a) not everyone in my department is an un-charismatic slob, and b) life isn't as bad as it can seem and people do notice you. 

 

My wife once told me that she read somewhere that you should surround yourself with people you want to be like or aspire to become.  It's a subliminal form of self improvement.  It makes sense though.  If you are trying to drink less, don't hang out with your bar hopping buddy, hang out with your friend that has been dry for 3 years.  If you are trying to get finances back on track, avoid the friend that is swimming in a sea of consumer debt and chat up your friend that just paid off their student loans.  I have a good friend that is always smiling and full of energy.  That is the change I want to be.  I make excuses often that I'm tired due to my shift and I don't get enough sleep, but perhaps I can do the Mind over Matter thing and just become happier.  I don't have more than average to be upset about.  Everyone has bills, most people don't really enjoy their jobs (blessed are those that found their dream career!!), and it seems all have interpersonal conflicts from time to time.

 

So no longer will I be sad, sleepy Klint, but rather serene, content and happy. (I'm not one for the cheerleader over the top crazy happy...think that's the quickest way to get a drug test at work if I ever saw one).

 

~Peace

BOOM! instant karma

There is not a whole lot more satisfying than seeing justice dealt.  I say justice because should be more appealing than revenge because justice is what someone deserves but revenge can be bitter and spiteful.  Karma is the universe's built in judge and jury.  When you do ill to someone else it has a way of coming back to you.  It may not even be in this lifetime (suspense is killer!) but it will come back to bite you in the butt.  Take the case of the 3 year old birthday dinner I just took my little princess on.  She love Applebee's. I don't know why, but she does.  She orders macaroni and cheese and even on the menu it states that it is the same exact Kraft macaroni and cheese I get at the store for $0.88 but they feel ok charging $4 for it.  Whatever, it's her birthday, get whatever you want kiddo!  Where I have the issue is the service we received.  Part of what is built into the price of the food is the atmosphere, cost of food, and wages of the staff.  So as a person who has been on both sides of the restaurant experience (server, cook, dishwasher, done it all) I understand how it works, so when Jimbob (name's changed to protect the accused) came up to our table and asked "What do you want?" I was tempted to say "a new waiter."  He didn't care or say anything when we said we were celebrating my daughter's 3rd birthday, didn't bring out a dessert, or even mark off anything on the check.  In short he didn't even acknowledge my child on her special dinner.  Turns out that being a server is one of those opportunities for karma to be applied instantly.  If you do awesome and make the customer feel good, tips are generally good.  If you suck at life and make people feel like they didn't have a good time, tips will go down the drain.  There are exceptions to the rule, but you get the general idea. 

I think you can guess how awesome our waiter did when he picked up the check  :)

Mindful schooling

Schooling and education should be synonyms right?  I always thought so but after having a child in the public school system I am beginning to wonder.  When I was growing up the kids that were home schooled in my area (I mean no offense if you were) were weird.  I think a big part of it was the socialization differences but they talked funny and dressed even weirder.  But before I go on exploring new interest in home schooling let me explain the events that lead me there.

So begins the journey towards the decision of whether to keep her in school and see if she "adjusts" to the new structure to bring her home and school her at home.

doppelgangers

I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother (a current favorite of mine) and they said something that really made me think and appreciate my life.  To give a little background they circle of friends are convinced that each of them have a doppelganger out there and they had found four of the five.  They spent a good part of the episode talking about doppelgangers and Ted said something to the effect that we are all our own doppelganger.  Would you recognized yourself from 5 years ago? 10 years?  To think how far I've come in just 6 short years amazes me sometimes.  Had a child (two with one more on the way) bought and sold a few cars, bought a house, bought my first thoroughbred dog only to find out she was crazy and destructive and had to be re-homed to a place with more space.  Seems amazing to me, and also my 10 year high school reunion was this past summer (couldn't attend) but I can't even imagine all the changes that have occured in that time span.  I think everyone wrote letters to future selves either in school or at one time or another about what we are doing or what we hope we are doing in some prescribed number of years.  I know I didn't see myself whre I am now back then, but I am glad I got here.

My wife is awesome for redoing my blog... I should buy her something pretty!

 

So much to learn

I love being able to spend time with my little ones while they are small and learning.  I was reminded today that we can learn from children too.  I took my youngest to the park to kill some time while mommy was at the doctor's for a Miss M. check up and it was great to have some one on one time with her.  The world must look so different when you are three feet tall, she notices so much more than I do.  I think a lot of that is also that she lives in the moment like I wish I could.  So often I get preoccupied about what's coming up.  "What's for dinner?  What do I need to get at the grocery today?  I must remember to do the cat litter and get the garbage out because tomorrow is garbage day.  What are you doing sweetie?"  She is crouched down looking at a pretty little purple (her favorite color) flower poking out of the sidewalk crack that I completly missed.  There is so much wonder and magic that happens every minute that we miss because we are looking forward with anticipation or anxiety or backward with regret or longing.  Live a little more like a 3 year old, remember what it is to dream with your eyes open and smile with your whole heart.

 

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that's why it's called the present"

Selfishness

So as some may know, wifey and I are expecting our 3rd child this winter and what comes before birth? Pregnancy!  This one seems to be a bit rougher on wifey than the last two, or it may be that she is watching kids and doesn't get much adult interaction (cause let's face it, I ain't much of an adult) on a daily basis, plus watching kids is hard work.  Anyone who says watching kids is either not a parent or on crack I'm pretty sure.  But it seems I may have been a bit selfish with my time recently.  Working third shift and trying to be involved in the family makes time management kinda difficult, let me lay out some examples for ya.  I work from 11pm to 8am (yes that's nine hours, can't give'em paid lunch!!) so on a 'normal' day i try to sleep from 2-10 and get my solid 8 hrs that way. BUT WAIT! what about when my oldest needs to get picked up from school at 3?!?!  well either I should stay up to monitor the kiddo's or go get her so lets say i sleep from 3:30 to 10, but here comes the monkey wrenches.  Wifey teaches dance (which I am SO happy she can do something that she loves and be in her career field) but they are usually in the evening so sometimes that means I sleep from 9-3 then a little bit from 6 or 7-10.  All this sleep juggling can make me a little cranky.  I know it's not fair to take it out on anyone, this is just part of being a dad/husband, but it can make my mood sour and unpleasant to be around.  So I try to look forward to things I REALLY enjoy and make little 'holidays' of them.  Like I enjoy video games so when I get to play them (especially on my nights off when my friends are playing and we can multiplayer) it's like a 'mini labor day' a little sunshine to make me smile.  But I've been focusing too much on them and not enough on the wifey and she has been feeling overloaded.  I've taken up doing cat litter (preggies can't do it, some kind of fetal risk called toxo-plasmosis) and laundry (she cant reach in the wash bin anymore...it's cute) on top of what I used to do but I should try to help out more.

So honey (as you are probably my only subscriber) here's my apology letter for the whole world to see, I'm sorry and I'll do more to help so your last trimester won't be such a burden and we can look forward to seeing Ms. M!

Yoga Time

I've really been stepping up my practice of yoga as of late and been feeling a lot calmer and more peaceful.  It's been challenging physically (what a good workoug) and time-wise (it seems I can't get stable ground under me when it comes to a daily schedule) but I really think this is one of the most beneficial habits I've been able to cultivate in a long time.  It comes at a good time too. Work has been exceedingly trying lately.  Coworkers making outlandish accusations, new recruits returning from "prestigious" training in San Antonio, and supervision making us jump at every homeless man that wanders down our streets is mentally exhausting.  It's nice to be able to find a place inside and know that I'll feel better and rewarded when I get done with a simple 20-30 minute routine. 

One of the nice side benefits that I did not anticipate about yoga is when I started to get involved in the community aspect of it I've found that most of the people have very similar views on life and peace and balance that I do. 

I hope to stick with it this time and really reap the benefits of a yoga lifestyle.

 

Namaste!

Rollercoasters

So I've never been much of a fan of rollercoasters.  Seems a shame living as close as I do to Cedar Point (from what I understand is a pretty good coaster park) but they've never had much of an appeal to me.  I don't think it's that I'm afraid of heights, I enjoy rock climbing and I clean out my gutters and trim trees without even a second thought.  I guess it's the complete lack of control and the extremes that they go to that don't appeal to me (and the 3 hour wait in line).  But sometimes it feels like I live my own rollercoaster.  My emotions and moods go from one extreme to another it feels like.  Not quite to the point of a manic depressive, but enough that I got screened for it a few years ago.  I have been enjoying a rather extended period of happyness and hoped that a few lifestyle changes had gotten me out of the cycle, but the other night before I came into work I felt the familiar funk starting to creep back in (I don't know many who enjoys going to work, but this is more than that).  I try to temper my emotions and moods, but what made me really take a strong look at how I present myself is when my daughter asked me "what's wrong daddy?" and I just replied that daddy is sad and when she asked why I couldn't really come up with a good reason.  I've never been much of an over the top kind of guy, more of a candle than a sparkler, but I don't want my kids to remember me as a sour guy but as a calm and loving individual. 

 

No one at work seems to understand the difference between calm serenity and tired foul mood.  I am usually in a decent mood and could be fullly awake but most people I come in contact with comment on how I always look tired or angry.  All that does it tend aggrivate me.  It's like walking up to someone and telling them they look like crap today. 

 

I wonder how much of all this can be attributed to me working night shift or if it's just my personality.  It is times like these that I do miss my best counselor I've ever had though, my grandmother.  For now though, writing down my thoughts, both good and bad, on this blog seems to help balance me out.

an update of sorts I guess

As some may know, I've played World of Warcraft for the better part of 2 or 3 years with a few breaks here and there.  Also as of a month of so ago I've quit to re-prioritize some things in life.  I miss some of my friends I've made in that world, but I've reconnected with my wife on a much stronger level that I haven't enjoyed while playing.  Also I've been picking up other hobbies and strengthening others as there is more time to do so.  I used to spend about an hour or two everyday playing and a couple more on nights off.  Now during those times I practice my yoga, play sword fights with my girls (which is hilarious) or play disc golf with a friend who I've grown very close to as he now has a daughter and we have more in common.  There's been times I've been tempted to go back, especially on a frustrating or aggravating day, but when I think of how much strife it causes my wife I don't want to put her through that.  I think what I miss the most about the game is how important I was to so many people.  I played a vital role to dungeons and raids as a healer and a tank and I was told I played very well and people would excitedly greet me and ask me to help them.  I've never been too social in real life, and I hold myself to very high standards and get disappointed by others easily.  The game was a lot easier for me to socialize and connect with people because I could remember that it was just a game and could just have fun with it but in real life if I expected someone to be there when I needed them or to look forward to seeing me like I looked forward to seeing them and they did not it crushed me to the point where I became jaded.  Now I'm back in the situation where I really should be looking for friends to spend time with.  It's a challenge for me as the friends I've made at work are on different schedules than I am and there aren't many people I want to see at work let alone outside of it.  I think that's why most of the activities I really invest my time into can be done solo.  Most video games have a single player mode, disc golf can be done alone, I think my girls will always sword fight with me (at least for a few more years until it's not cool to like dad).  i just get frustrated because there's many things I'd like to try, but my schedule makes it impossible to commit to clubs or activities that meet on certain days or certain times.

 

well, that's my energy drink induced rant/stream of consciousness....I SHOULD BUY A BOAT (corky romano ref)

 

~Klint

Medieval Madness!

Last weekend we went to the Great Lakes Medieval Faire and had a great time!  The weather was perfect, the kids were well behaved (except for a case of the whinies but that's to be expected after a whole day of walking around and no nap) and the entertainment was EPIC!  It all started with a firebreathing comedian right inside the gate.  He was hilarious!  and really good with the the fire breathing too.  As we continued on we saw evidence that it was indeed pirate invasion weekend as we saw more than a few spectators dressed as pirates and all the amusement operators were dressed as pirates as well.  I was really impressed that all the rides are operated on "pirate power" by pushes, cranks, pulls and Heave Ho's!!  After some walking around and a ride we headed over to one of the food areas the "Stumble Inn" and sat down to lunch.  I got the turkey legge and it was MASSIVE!  As we were eating a band called Circa Paleo played traditional music from around the world.  I learned later that they have a track on the Braveheart soundtrack.  After lunch we headed deeper into the woods and checked out some more merchants, the highland games, fairy forest, the viking encampment, and SO much more.  We ended the day by watching the joust and had a good laugh as blue knight and the green knight battled in front of the king and queen.

We hope to go again before it leaves for the year and will definitely be attending next year...in costume!

Tired

Seems I only come here when I have an epiphany or need to rant about something and I guess this is a little of both. I have been doing a lot of searching to find a way to make my day to day life happier and I've come to the conclusion that I'm tired of being tired. Simple fix you say? Just get more rest? Not quite the tired I have in mind. I'm tired of working hours I don't like with people I don't like for bosses I don't like at a place that doesn't challenge me in a career that used to be about helping people but isn't anymore. And since you spend a third of you adult day at work it seems there needs to be a change.

THE HUNT BEGINS!

~Klint

Enemies

Have you ever had a day where nothing goes as planned?  Or perhaps you feel like the gears of the world are turning against you.  It's days like those that people tell you to look on the brighter side, and to persevere and it will get better soon.  These are good and all, but what if you can't find the brighter side, or the weight of your sorrows seem impossible to bear?  I feel that way from time to time and today I sat and thought about the source of my woes and came to a conclusion. 

I have an enemy working against me. 

This is not to be trifled with or underestimated.  He is sneaky, underhanded and ruthless.  He undermines my dreams, mars my health, makes me stumble when I finally feel like I find my stride and maligns the machine that is my daily life.  Who is this evil doer?  Who could be so heartless and callous?  It's me.  There are days where I do things I don't even know why I do it, but then later on the repercussions destroy something I hold dear.  I'm sure we've all said things in anger we regret, but it seems I make it a habit like a druggie visiting his dealer.

So why do I do it?  Old habit die hard?  Perhaps there's something to be said about the way I was raised.  Maybe I'm one of those people who just can't get along with others.  I don't know.  All I know is I want to defeat this underminer, this nemesis I have.  I want to be happy and fulfill my dreams.

Good news

Good news
Well, it seems nature and greater powers have decided that our little family should expand some. Wifey had been feeling nauseous and really worn down and she kiddingly said she was pregnant but decided to go
get a home test kit anyway. Well after a whole 30 seconds it came back positive. So as weird as it sounds, send pink thoughts our way, I'm hopin for another girl.
Peace

~Klint

Less is more

Less is more
This week we sold our "extra" car. It's extra in that it was paid off,
but a smaller and kinda baseline model so it didn't get driven much.
We needed the influx of money and we definitly needed the space so the
decision to sell was pretty easy. It's really nice not having to worry
about insuring it or oil changes or any other of a mountain of
maintenance concerns that go with owning a car. Sometimes it seems the
American dream is to amass this huge collection of stuff, but I've
come to realize that the more stuff you have the more you have to take
care of or store or pay for. Hopefully as I go through life I can pare
down on other things as well and have a less cluttered less expensive
life.

Peace

~Klint

Yogamazing!

I have recently become a firm believer in the fitness and healing benefits of yoga but haven't really found a great way to practice it.  I have a few video routines, but once you do them a couple times it gets kinda old. I was looking for a new podcast to watch and came across the yogamazing podcast on iTunes. I dowoaded the ones for cyclists and runners and really liked how he took into consideration the different needs of the practitioners. I also recommend the one for allergy since allergen season is fast approaching. Check out his website at www.yogamazing.com and have a peaceful day!

~Klint

Reading people

Reading people
As some might know, I work third shift and that has a tendency of tiring a person out continually. Also as a police officer it is not my place to be a giddy, bubbly personality. I do however try to be a pleasant and even tempered person the majority of the time. So when a smart mouthed employee remarked "don't be so happy to be here" when I was going out of my way to perform a quick scan so that she wouldn't be tied up in the re-entry process I was at first a little offended. Then I realized that most people remark that I look sad or sleepy most of the time. This is really not the case as since I've been working out more I've been able to rest deeper and I've just felt better. So please remember when making impressions and comments (no one likes to hear "you look like crap today") that it really is impossible to judge a book by it's cover.

~Klint

Loss

To Buddhists everything is temporary, nothing is permanent.  This is
something I've been meditating on very diligently for the past month.
My grandmother very suddenly got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and
since her diagnosis she has been very weak and seems defeated. I don't
honestly know how much of it is the cancer or how much is the pain
medication she is on, but since she fell that day her attitude also
fell drastically. A logical part of me always knew she wouldn't live
forever, but she was so lively and vital that I am not prepared to
lose her yet.  Meditating that this is completely natural, normal, and
the way things are supposed to happen makes it a little better.
There are really two things that make this much more difficult to
navigate. The first and far more enraging is the way my mother is
behaving. She became very emotional and attached to my grandpa's
sister who she hardly knew but has not called or visited her own
mother. It's really hard for me to understand how she can harbor that
much hatred. The second is how a family member is just found out I was
related to can use this tragedy to try to make herself feel better or
me feel worse. I got introduced to her and she immediately started
talking about grandma. I said she was feeling better that she was out
of the hospital to which she retorted that "she isn't going to make
it". I don't understand what is meant by making it, NO ONE lives
forever and she certainly didn't look much better off than grandma but
she felt necessary to add in that little jab.
There have been many hours I've spent thinking on how nothing in life
is permanent and you must enjoy each moment that you are in for you
cannot posses or control the future or past. I will make the most of
each moment I still have with grandma and treasure the memories I have
made with her.


~Klint

Spring....almost

I write this cuddled in my coat next to a sad little space heater who thought his working days to be over for the season. You see it's raining and only 35 degrees out and since I'm forced to be out in it I am reminded every year that winter in Cleveland isn't over until after the Easter bunny has visited with his bright pastel colors.  I have enjoyed very much the reprieve we have gotten from winter's bite the last week or so but do believe winter has one last kick for us.
So dear readers, what about warmer weather do you most look forward to?

St Pat's day!

Saint Patrick's day has always been a big day to celebrate for me as most of my family is proudly Irish. And until this year I really threw myself to the day. But this being the first year i'm Buddhist and celebrating I noticed a few things. First and foremost buddhists try to abstain from drinking as a clouded mind cannont achieve enlightenment. That really goes against the grain of st pat's. I still really enjoyed my day with the girls sans green beer.
Here are some pics from our st pats parade fun!

~Peace

So Sore

Ouch! So sore. I've come to the realization that I need to get a bit more fit before I can really dive into CrossFit so I joined a local gym called planet fitness with my wife and quite a few friends. I've really taken up an aggressive workout routine and I think every muscle in my upper body is screaming. Also I've started running in my Vibram Five Fingers for the first time and my calves and ankles are sore, but they aren't injured. I just have to keep at it to strengthen them up. I think on my off days I might take up cycling, it worked really well when I was in college. I was eating like crap and drinking way too much back then too.
Here's to forward progress!

~Peace

busy busy and fitness

It has been a little while since I had the opportunity to blog about anything. I've been pecking away at my 30/30 list so go check that out if you haven't yet and I've also decided to really take a new approach on my fitness. I know that my diet has probably undermined most of what I've been able to do in the past so I scanned the books at my library and picked up the Abs Power Diet that really gained fame in Men's Health Magazine. Each letter in Abs Diet Power stands for a power food that should be incorporated onto all your meals and snacks. Also one of wifey's friends from high school posted his success on Facebook with the Crossfit program. I am not anywhere near the fitness level to be able to pull off all the exercises unmodified, but I love that there is a "Workout of the Day". It adds much needed variety to the workout regimen that keeps it from getting stale, and from what I understand it helps you get fit faster because your muscles don't adapt to one particular exercise and plateau.
Wish me luck with these new fitness habits!

~Peace

...and justice for all

It's been a while since i've had the chance to blog (for either blog). Our house has been struck by a case of the sickies and it's jumped from one to the next instead of getting us all out of the way at once.

I just have a little rant to get off my chest. I'm really tired of one set of rules applying to one group of people and a different set applying to others. We claim to live in a time that is "progressive" and not racist but anyone with open eyes can tell you differently.  I've done my best to eliminate prejudice from my life, but I know I treat people differently based on life experiences.  Unfortunatly I'm face with mostly negative experiences due to my career and training, so I do approach black people wearing mostly one colored clothing that is loose as a gang memeber and not someone who is color co-ordinated.  I won't outwardly act on this profiling until their words or actions dictate that i should but i am more aware of them because of what my life has taught me.  The kind of inequality I'm tired of is the kind I imagine you have encountered everyday at work.  The kind that rears it's head when you see the company brown-noser getting extra time for lunch or extra days off or perhaps only a mild chastising where you would be more stricly disciplined.  This kind of inequality is rooted in power and ego which seems everyone wants and loves to be fed.  I made a promise to myself long ago that I can achieve what I want to achieve without having to crawl on my belly and suck up to get it, I will get there based on my merits and skills.  It just really crushes my moral to see that others get easily what I have to work extremely hard for just by brown nosing and stroking the ego of the next man higher on the totem pole.

Perhaps I dream of a Utopia that doesn't exist but if I can live and lead by example then perhaps the next generation will be a little closer to the ideal.

tweets on thursday: a weekly blog experiment.

In my effort to complete an item on my 30/before 30 list I thought since I follow a few people that tweet some interesting stuff I'd like to share some of my favorites.

Veronica Belmont of Revision3's Tekzilla shared this url in one of her tweets. So my question to dear reader is this, are you a geek? If so, are you proud of you geekdom?

Peace.

30 before 30

A good friend of mine just made the jump into the blog world with a blog devoted to doing 30 things before her 30th birfthday. She and I are just about the same age (she's 2 months older I believe) and it got me thinking about what I would like to accomplish before I hit my 3 decade mark. I tried to think of things that would enrich me or I'd be glad I did. Also I figure that if I write them down I'll actually do it. I'm having a hard time coming up with 30, and I'll admit that I took some straight of my friend's list but I thbink I came up with some good ones too. So here's my list.

Read 30 books (the kindle iPod app is gunna be huge for this)
Review 30 games
See 30 movies
Go camping
Go deer hunting
Attend a trade show or seminar
Build something functional for our home (cabinet, bench, etc)
Draw a self portrait
Buy a motorcycle
Buy a gun
Run a 7:30 mile
Go rock climbing
Try out a martial art
Learn tea ceremony
Get a tattoo
Learn a craft (whittling?)
Shed all consumer debt
Try composting
Learn italian
Make a weekly blog feature
See a "show"
Join a police org (blue knights, FOP)
Meet a real buddhist monk
Shoot a M4 rifle
Learn shaolin workout
Try coffee
Get a massage
Give blood
Make own dried fruit snacks
Meditate in a park

Well, that's my list, I might edit it as I consider it more but I like most of the items on it.

Wish me luck :)

Peace

Birthday and nightmares

Ah, what a week it's been. Well, let’s start at the beginning as that's the best place to start.
On Sunday I signed up for Gamefly two week free trial. I should have waited as Monday is a holiday and no mail will be delivered but I wanted to make sure that the ball got rolling. I really like the idea of Gamefly, for about what half a game costs a month ($22) I can have 2 games at a time unlimited number a month. This way I don't get stuck with a crappy game, or one that I finish in a week. Well so far I'm mixed on my opinion of them, they games didn't come till yesterday (Thursday) from Pittsburgh. Seems to me it shouldn't take so long to come from a place where I can drive in less than 5 hours.

For the majority of what is about a week now I've been suffering (and that's the word too) from nightmares and insomnia. My sleep schedule is messed up as it is, usually split between a 3-4 hour nap in the morning and a 2-3 hour nap in the evening, so collapsing in bed was never a problem before, but lately I have had no luck getting deep restful sleep. I don't know what the culprit to my plight is, but I need to find a way to restore balance before I go insane. Someone I knew from long ago said to stop watching the news before bed (she hasn't kept close enough tabs to know my odd sleep schedule or that we don't have TV in our house) and I could see that all the bad news in the world could easily give people nightmares. One reason I'm very glad we have purged that from our household. Another shocking revelation on the TV front came to me yesterday. I found that the school my daughter goes to has been showing TV to the kids at lunch time. That makes me REALLY mad! I guess they show them "Dragontales", a PBS show, but I didn't have any say as to what was selected, how it's presented, and I don't know if they are showing it on or off air, which determines whether they see commercials. And that is a BIG deal. At Christmas time my daughter was excited about things that SHE wanted. A shark tooth necklace, robot bugs, etc, not what commercial society determined she SHOULD want. And I've seen a big difference in how she acts and how some of her friends act. The starkest example is how nuts some of these kids are going over zhu zhu pets. A small stuffed hamster pet that retails for under $10 was going for upwards of $80 on eBay around the holidays because they were scarce and kids were told they NEEDED them by commercial society. Honestly, they look like something out of a happy meal toy to me. Sorry, that's my little rant on commercial society and how it's force fed to our children.

My youngest started swim class today and she LOVES it :) She's also very good at it, must me all the love for bath time. She is performing at the next level up in many aspects and listening to the instructor and showing absolutely no fear. I'm very proud of her.

And finally it was my lovely wife's birthday this week! It's her last year as a twenty something (She posted it herself so I figure I'm safe posting it too). I feel bad that funds are tight this year and I couldn't do all I wanted to show her how special she is to me, but we still will have fun this weekend when I'm off work. It sounds corny and trite, but I'm reminded when it comes to gift giving events that one of the corner stones of Buddhism states that desire is the source of all suffering and cessation of that desire is the path to enlightenment. I never thought I’d be one to subscribe to that (I really like getting presents) but last Christmas was one of the "leanest" Christmas (as far as presents go) I've had and I enjoyed it the most I think because I didn’t want much so I wasn't disappointed when I didn't get it. I'll try to keep that frame of mind when it comes to my birthday in a month, but there a number of things I have my eye on (most of them are work related NEEDS though i.e. new boots) so wish me luck.

~Peace

Finances

Ugh, a dirty word to most, and a sensitive subject to nearly all I know is their finances.
Seems there is never enough to go around and make everyone happy, so in this New Year I am going to try my best to see what can be done to make me and my family a little happier and hopefully I can share some tips to everyone else.
Well first off there's this zero budget thing that seems to be going around. It's where you account for where all of you money goes. It's really simple Income-Expenses=0 You're probably saying the thing I said when I first read it too, well it seems my expenses outweigh my income. Well, unfortunately that's something that needs fixed before we can move onto step two. Take a look at your dining out bill. I know that's a vice for our family. A meal at someplace as cheap as a drive though fast food place (name withheld to protect the innocent) can cost as much as $20 for a family of four, easily. Take a similar meal, chicken strips for this example, and cook it at home. I used two chicken breasts ($3) shake and bake to flavor it up a bit ($.89) and make mashed potatoes ($2) and broccoli ($3). That adds up to under $10, the servings were MUCH bigger, the kids loved it and I know the food was a much better quality, and NOT FRIED. I know it takes time to cook food and home and who has it right? Well I've turned food prep time into playtime w/ the kids. They love dumping stuff, stirring stuff, getting dressed up in aprons, and helping. They let me do the steps that require sharp knives and handling hot food or pots and pans, but there's still lots to do and I get to spend time w/ my family.
Where was I after that lengthy side track...o yes, step two to making finances healthier. Becoming debt free! Sounds like a dream doesn't it? Well if you can make you zero budget a little heavier on the income side it's not. Check out {Simple Mom}'s article for how this works. But it amounts to focusing on one debt item at a time and burning it down to nothing before moving on to the next one. Burn down that credit card? That’s an extra $40 a month to throw at the next bill. Pay off the car? That's almost $300 in our case! Just think when u get all your bills paid off....it's like a second job's worth of income that was there all along.
I know my finances get in the way of my peacefulness. I worry about them, fight about it, and so much more. If I can find the path to financial freedom (and it really does seem like freedom) then I can't imagine how much simpler life could be.

Wow! been a while

It's been quite some time since I've had the opportunity to blog, or had something I considered to be "blogworthy."  I guess I'm much more comfortable with the micro-blogging of twitter and facebook, but will try to contribute more here.
Well it's a new year and like so many others, I reflect on the past year and see where I came up lacking and what I want to change. 
1. I am going to try to cut out soda completly.  Water is a much more natural, healthy alternative and it doesn't have the unpleasant side effect of taking away your teeth and adding insulation to your middle.
2. Do some kind of stretch/workout for 30min, 4 days a week.  This is a minimum.  I'm tired of being sore in a bad way.
3. Become more selfless.  For the longest time I've felt that if i don't look out for my needs, no one will.  I must begin to trust in others that if I help them find enjoyment they will reciprocate.
4. Become financially healthy.  Found a great debt free plan on my wife's blog about how to attack debt.  Something about snowball and paying off smaller debts so you don't have to contend w/ monthly payments.  i'll post a link when i find one.

I have made lots of progress on being less materialistic I feel.  I have tried to trim down on my "OOOO I GOTTA have that" feelings and been content with what I have.  I've really started to enjoy my little 2 min meditation sessions (before the kids smack me with foam swords or bombard me with snack requests).  And I've come to the conclusion that even though my goal to become financially healthy is a priority, it's not something to get UBER stressed about.  I can't make money appear out of thin air, so there is no purpose getting my knickers in a knot!

Here's to 2010, I hope it's peaceful and enlightening