value

Value.  Many people take that word differently.  Some put a dollar sign on it.  Some attach value to other, incalculable things.  I try to make everything I do or participate in be of value or benefit something or someone in someway.  It's how I measure whether something is worthwhile doing.  There are words built into our everyday language that accomdate that mindset too.  Worthwile, waste of time, opportunity cost.  I've been taking a pretty hard look at some of my hobbies and activities recently and trying to decide if they are adding value to my life or diminishing it.  To give an example, I am one of those people that really enjoy working out.  That obviously adds value to my life as it makes me healthier and adds years to my life.  Some other things are harder to justify.  Like watching TV.  A documentary is obviously enriching, but a drama show?  I would argue that time spent relaxing is important in moderation too.  Also there are shows that I enjoy watching with my wife and that social time is very important as we don't get a lot of one on one time. 

 

Something else came to mind as I was making a list of activities that add value to my day is a list of friends I have and what I value about them and how I would like to be more like different aspects of them.  Some I value for their optimism, energy, perseverance, peacefulness, and/or, inspiration to be fit.  I wonder what others value about me.  I hope that some look to me as a valuable pat of their life as I look to others.

Be the Change

"Be the change you want to see in the world" is a quote from the most peaceful person that has lived in my lifetime that I'm aware of, Ghandi.  It's a very hard directive to follow sometimes.  I have no problem being kind to others or showing generosity as I wish more people in the world would do, but lately work has been rather, as a friend once put it, soulcrushing.  I know everyone has days where it is hard to get out of bed and get motivated to go to work, but the flavor of disgust I've experienced lately has been toxic.  I was assigned to walk around on a foot patrol and in doing so I crossed another employee who I've noticed NEVER smiles and NEVER has a kind word for anyone but their close friends.  I thought to myself, I do not want to end up like that and how sad that they are so unhappy.  I said good morning and have a good day and all I got was a blank stare in return, but I tried to do something to show them that a) not everyone in my department is an un-charismatic slob, and b) life isn't as bad as it can seem and people do notice you. 

 

My wife once told me that she read somewhere that you should surround yourself with people you want to be like or aspire to become.  It's a subliminal form of self improvement.  It makes sense though.  If you are trying to drink less, don't hang out with your bar hopping buddy, hang out with your friend that has been dry for 3 years.  If you are trying to get finances back on track, avoid the friend that is swimming in a sea of consumer debt and chat up your friend that just paid off their student loans.  I have a good friend that is always smiling and full of energy.  That is the change I want to be.  I make excuses often that I'm tired due to my shift and I don't get enough sleep, but perhaps I can do the Mind over Matter thing and just become happier.  I don't have more than average to be upset about.  Everyone has bills, most people don't really enjoy their jobs (blessed are those that found their dream career!!), and it seems all have interpersonal conflicts from time to time.

 

So no longer will I be sad, sleepy Klint, but rather serene, content and happy. (I'm not one for the cheerleader over the top crazy happy...think that's the quickest way to get a drug test at work if I ever saw one).

 

~Peace

BOOM! instant karma

There is not a whole lot more satisfying than seeing justice dealt.  I say justice because should be more appealing than revenge because justice is what someone deserves but revenge can be bitter and spiteful.  Karma is the universe's built in judge and jury.  When you do ill to someone else it has a way of coming back to you.  It may not even be in this lifetime (suspense is killer!) but it will come back to bite you in the butt.  Take the case of the 3 year old birthday dinner I just took my little princess on.  She love Applebee's. I don't know why, but she does.  She orders macaroni and cheese and even on the menu it states that it is the same exact Kraft macaroni and cheese I get at the store for $0.88 but they feel ok charging $4 for it.  Whatever, it's her birthday, get whatever you want kiddo!  Where I have the issue is the service we received.  Part of what is built into the price of the food is the atmosphere, cost of food, and wages of the staff.  So as a person who has been on both sides of the restaurant experience (server, cook, dishwasher, done it all) I understand how it works, so when Jimbob (name's changed to protect the accused) came up to our table and asked "What do you want?" I was tempted to say "a new waiter."  He didn't care or say anything when we said we were celebrating my daughter's 3rd birthday, didn't bring out a dessert, or even mark off anything on the check.  In short he didn't even acknowledge my child on her special dinner.  Turns out that being a server is one of those opportunities for karma to be applied instantly.  If you do awesome and make the customer feel good, tips are generally good.  If you suck at life and make people feel like they didn't have a good time, tips will go down the drain.  There are exceptions to the rule, but you get the general idea. 

I think you can guess how awesome our waiter did when he picked up the check  :)

Mindful schooling

Schooling and education should be synonyms right?  I always thought so but after having a child in the public school system I am beginning to wonder.  When I was growing up the kids that were home schooled in my area (I mean no offense if you were) were weird.  I think a big part of it was the socialization differences but they talked funny and dressed even weirder.  But before I go on exploring new interest in home schooling let me explain the events that lead me there.

So begins the journey towards the decision of whether to keep her in school and see if she "adjusts" to the new structure to bring her home and school her at home.

doppelgangers

I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother (a current favorite of mine) and they said something that really made me think and appreciate my life.  To give a little background they circle of friends are convinced that each of them have a doppelganger out there and they had found four of the five.  They spent a good part of the episode talking about doppelgangers and Ted said something to the effect that we are all our own doppelganger.  Would you recognized yourself from 5 years ago? 10 years?  To think how far I've come in just 6 short years amazes me sometimes.  Had a child (two with one more on the way) bought and sold a few cars, bought a house, bought my first thoroughbred dog only to find out she was crazy and destructive and had to be re-homed to a place with more space.  Seems amazing to me, and also my 10 year high school reunion was this past summer (couldn't attend) but I can't even imagine all the changes that have occured in that time span.  I think everyone wrote letters to future selves either in school or at one time or another about what we are doing or what we hope we are doing in some prescribed number of years.  I know I didn't see myself whre I am now back then, but I am glad I got here.

My wife is awesome for redoing my blog... I should buy her something pretty!

 

So much to learn

I love being able to spend time with my little ones while they are small and learning.  I was reminded today that we can learn from children too.  I took my youngest to the park to kill some time while mommy was at the doctor's for a Miss M. check up and it was great to have some one on one time with her.  The world must look so different when you are three feet tall, she notices so much more than I do.  I think a lot of that is also that she lives in the moment like I wish I could.  So often I get preoccupied about what's coming up.  "What's for dinner?  What do I need to get at the grocery today?  I must remember to do the cat litter and get the garbage out because tomorrow is garbage day.  What are you doing sweetie?"  She is crouched down looking at a pretty little purple (her favorite color) flower poking out of the sidewalk crack that I completly missed.  There is so much wonder and magic that happens every minute that we miss because we are looking forward with anticipation or anxiety or backward with regret or longing.  Live a little more like a 3 year old, remember what it is to dream with your eyes open and smile with your whole heart.

 

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that's why it's called the present"